Have you ever loved something or someone so much that your heart hurt to hold it all?
This is how I feel about my family. They are constantly expanding my heart and helping me grow more and more in my capacity to love and be loved. It is a precious and painful gift. I believe our hearts are meant to continue to expand and open wider and wider into a beautiful love that connect us to our true self, others, God and all of creation. This perfect love is unlimited and all encompassing and it starts in you.
This Christmas was different for our family. Instead of gifts, we gave our children a trip to Mexico. When they asked me what I wanted as a gift, I asked them to take an Enneagram assessment. My desire for connection is strong and I believe the Enneagram provides language and insights that help us connect to the best possible version of ourselves so we can bring our best to the world.
In theory it was a great idea, in reality it was a little rough.
What was learned is that everyone has different levels of awareness, desire, and capacity to engage in these topics. My family is no different than the world that you will each bring your awareness into. Some people want to engage and seek to understand and grow, some people will push against and challenge every little bit that you bring to the table. Some people will want to argue and be right, others won’t say a word in an effort to keep the peace. Our family discussion represented just some of the differences in personality styles that affect you whether you acknowledge it or not.
The wisdom of the Enneagram runs deep and expands in all directions. I don’t believe it can be mastered, but it is an on ramp to self-awareness and love that will carry you forward on your journey toward optimal health, connection, balance, and productivity. Once you take an assessment or discover your number, you have only just begun. This starting point is where you get curious and begin to test it out.
For example, if you test as a 7, you want to begin to notice the ways in which your need for fun and adventure might bring you closer to the ones you love and when it might pull you away from them. Awareness is always the beginning. From this place of awareness, you always have the power to choose.
The Enneagram is an invitation to choose love. The love and acceptance that you bring to yourself on this journey becomes a gift to those around you. You can only give to others what you yourself have received. As you begin to rest in the truth of who you are at your core and begin to celebrate your unique goodness, this love and acceptance becomes a safe harbor for those around you. Once you love and accept yourself, you are able to see past the irritants in the others around you and choose to love and accept them in the unique way that they have been created.
Just like one discussion around our dinner table didn’t take us to that beautiful vision I had for connection, your work on this journey will take commitment and time. If you are committed to this journey of self awareness and love, your rewards will be far greater than you could ask or imagine. At the end of the day we have each been created to give and receive love perfectly and freely. The wisdom of the Enneagram is a precious gift of love. To remember that you have been perfectly created and have a unique gift to share with the world is a cause to pause and celebrate, to love yourself as you are, and to take a brave step toward loving those around you exactly as they are today. Socrates in his wisdom said “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Will you commit in 2019 to examine your life in a way that leads you to love yourself and this one life you have been given? As you begin to notice the goodness and release the judgment and old stories and pressures, you will find energy to learn and grow and flourish into the person you were created to be. From this place of truth and authority, love will fill your home and workplace and invite those around you to a life that is worth living.