The Train and the Tree

A train is fast and fierce, it moves with a sense of purpose and intensity. It covers great distance and gathers people from all over to carry them safely to a shared destination. A tree is solid and rooted, it stays still and stretches its branches wide to provide a covering and shelter in the storm.

As I processed an old familiar feeling of being too slow and unable to keep up, a wise friend shared this imagery. She held a mirror and reminded me that I am like a tree and my presence is a powerful invitation to rest in stillness. She reminded me how Laurie is more like a train whose power is in the forward movement. Yes, each of us have very different personalities and ways of being in the world, but the combined gift of the two working together is what makes our organization, SOWthat … what it is.

The enemy is always whispering through comparison. The voice that says to the one; “you are moving too fast, you are too much” turns to the other and says “Don’t just sit there, move quickly, you aren’t doing enough.”

If we take the hook and listen to the voice of accusation, we lose our footing and get pulled out of our true nature which is one of a kind and created for a specific purpose.

There is an anxiety that builds as I try to be who I am not, but when I remember the truth of who I am, my roots sink a little deeper and my branches reach out a little farther.

When Laurie gets on a roll and buzzes out of the station she brings an exciting energy of growth and transformation. It inspires and calls others to board the train and enjoy the adventure. As I watch with delight, gratitude fills my heart and I am overwhelmed that God would bring her train to stop and that she would step off and sit in the shade of my branches. She shares stories of the land she has covered and allows her travel weary soul to sink into the stillness. It is a beautiful image of collaboration.

Part of collaboration is knowing who you are in your original goodness and bringing all of that to the table. It is opening your eyes wide to see the unique and gifted others that are seated in your circle.

When envy rears its evil head it mocks the goodness that is present and says “you should be more like that.” It is a dark and sneaky spirit that often goes unseen, but once it is noticed and named it is a call to repentance.

To own and bless what is yours and remember that it is very good, so that you can see and celebrate what is very good in the others.

Each of the gifts that we are called to bring to the world are necessary and good for a unique purpose. Just like the body has many parts, each one has a very good and specific job to do. When all the parts work together it makes such a miraculous whole. We are thankful for each person who hops on the train or rests in the tree’s shade.

It is an honor to work together to serve those of you who are ready to dive into your unique purpose and calling. We admit that working together has its bumps like the one expressed here, but it is these bumps that refine us and shape us into more of who we were created to be.

Today, will you pause and identify the unique gift that you bring to the world just by being you? Can you take a little time to celebrate this goodness and also the goodness that is surrounding and supporting you?

Please join us for our virtual Trauma and the Enneagram workshop on May 9th. you can register HERE:

What Number Are You?

Growing up as the youngest of 11 children was a novelty.  In gatherings when we were introduced to our parents friends they would ask “what number are you?”  At first I was proud to tell them I was #11, the “caboose.”  The first and last seemed special, the beginning and the end.  All nine children in the middle were lumped together, but I was proud to have my own slot just for me.  

My mom loved children and the last child represented an ending to a long season of her bringing life into the world.  Being the “baby” as she would refer to me had its perks, but it also had some setbacks too.  In a pack of children, everyone wants to be seen and set apart as special, it is human nature.  When there are so many children and time and resources are limited it can be a breeding ground for envy.  Just consider the story of Joseph from the bible.  His brothers hated him because he was favored.  I didn’t choose to be born last, and yet because of that God-given birth order, there was a favor that I completely enjoyed as well as envy that often crushed me.  

Along with being the youngest, I was super sensitive and was given the gift of empathy.  My heart bled and took on all the sorrow and pain that was around me.  My tears were of compassion and deep feeling and knowing of suffering.  This very gift became like a target on my back where I was vulnerable to attack.  My tears drew violence and mockery and boatloads of shame.  Being a baby was a bad thing but I hadn’t yet learned to contain my emotion, in fact it is still so hard for me to do.  There is a time and place to cry.  In our culture the time is “not now” and the place is alone in your room behind a closed door.  

We are taught early and told often to suck it up.  For some reason, I never quite mastered that skill.  My heart feels and so my eyes express and release the tears.  I see you and I am sad too!  This is the message of tears. It has taken over 40 years to come to a place of loving acceptance for the gift of tears.  In learning to release the heartache through tears, there is a re-ordering of the heart.  Letting go of the suffering that isn’t mine to bear opens up a space deep inside for God’s light and compassionate love to fill and restore and make new.

Many years ago, in a women’s study the question, “What number are you?” returned.  I found it a little off-putting because I had no understanding of what she was referring to.   As those at the table chimed in and engaged in a rich conversation about the Enneagram, I sunk into the confusion and shame of not knowing.  I resisted learning about it though my curiosity was piqued.  I didn’t want to be known as a number again; I wanted to be seen and valued as so much more.  Over time my heart and passion for the Enneagram has shifted.  Although I don’t like to ask people “what’s your number?” I do want to know how they see the world and what tends to pull them out of the light of God’s glory and how they have learned to recognize and return to their essence. 

The Enneagram is a powerful tool that helps bring order and goodness in places of confusion and chaos.

It ushers in connection, curiosity, kindness and compassion.  As we begin to understand who we are at the core of our being and learn to love and bless the unique lens God has given us to see and engage the world, we are bringing the Kingdom of God to earth.  

As we return to this posture of radical self love and acceptance we are then able to share that gift with those we encounter.  We are so much more than a number and yet, numbers are helpful for bringing order and helping us learn and understand God’s creation and perfect design.  He created something different on each of the seven days in which he spoke order into chaos.  We are each created with unique gifts and passions to bring order to our lives and the kingdom of God.  You are invited to take a step and explore the mystery of the Enneagram so that you can experience the fullness of God’s love for you and those he has blessed you with.

(originally posted on www.redtentliving.com)

Please join us for our first ever Virtual Healing Your Trauma using the Enneagram Workshop on Saturday, May 9th as we explore the power of the Enneagram, Your story and Healing. Click HERE to sign up.

Its All About Love

Have you ever loved something or someone so much that your heart hurt to hold it all? 

This is how I feel about my family.  They are constantly expanding my heart and helping me grow more and more in my capacity to love and be loved. It is a precious and painful gift.  I believe our hearts are meant to continue to expand and open wider and wider into a beautiful love that connect us to our true self, others, God and all of creation.  This perfect love is unlimited and all encompassing and it starts in you.

This Christmas was different for our family.  Instead of gifts, we gave our children a trip to Mexico.  When they asked me what I wanted as a gift, I asked them to take an Enneagram assessment.  My desire for connection is strong and I believe the Enneagram provides language and insights that help us connect to the best possible version of ourselves so we can bring our best to the world. 

In theory it was a great idea, in reality it was a little rough. 

What was learned is that everyone has different levels of awareness, desire, and capacity to engage in these topics.  My family is no different than the world that you will each bring your awareness into.  Some people want to engage and seek to understand and grow, some people will push against and challenge every little bit that you bring to the table.  Some people will want to argue and be right, others won’t say a word in an effort to keep the peace.  Our family discussion represented just some of the differences in personality styles that affect you whether you acknowledge it or not. 

The wisdom of the Enneagram runs deep and expands in all directions.  I don’t believe it can be mastered, but it is an on ramp to self-awareness and love that will carry you forward on your journey toward optimal health, connection, balance, and productivity.  Once you take an assessment or discover your number, you have only just begun.  This starting point is where you get curious and begin to test it out.

For example, if you test as a 7, you want to begin to notice the ways in which your need for fun and adventure might bring you closer to the ones you love and when it might pull you away from them.  Awareness is always the beginning.  From this place of awareness, you always have the power to choose. 

The Enneagram is an invitation to choose love.  The love and acceptance that you bring to yourself on this journey becomes a gift to those around you.  You can only give to others what you yourself have received.  As you begin to rest in the truth of who you are at your core and begin to celebrate your unique goodness, this love and acceptance becomes a safe harbor for those around you.  Once you love and accept yourself, you are able to see past the irritants in the others around you and choose to love and accept them in the unique way that they have been created. 

Just like one discussion around our dinner table didn’t take us to that beautiful vision I had for connection, your work on this journey will take commitment and time.  If you are committed to this journey of self awareness and love, your rewards will be far greater than you could ask or imagine.  At the end of the day we have each been created to give and receive love perfectly and freely.  The wisdom of the Enneagram is a precious gift of love.  To remember that you have been perfectly created and have a unique gift to share with the world is a cause to pause and celebrate, to love yourself as you are, and to take a brave step toward loving those around you exactly as they are today.  Socrates in his wisdom said “An unexamined life is not worth living.” 

Will you commit in 2019 to examine your life in a way that leads you to love yourself and this one life you have been given?  As you begin to notice the goodness and release the judgment and old stories and pressures, you will find energy to learn and grow and flourish into the person you were created to be.  From this place of truth and authority, love will fill your home and workplace and invite those around you to a life that is worth living.